In her sixth poem, poet Brenda McDonald exquisitely describes the isolation and loneliness that those who live with depression often experience, in addition to their hope for recovery and brighter days that often lays hidden beneath the surface.
Loneliness
Loneliness
Enters my impressionable mind as just a feeling
Explodes inward to become a defining feature
Loneliness
Spreads to my sensitive heart with a vengeance
Steals self-compassion with reckless abandon
Loneliness
Strangles my caring soul with penetrating grip
Tries desperately to mute the voice of self-love
Loneliness
Catapults me to an imaginary island of intimidating isolation
Whisks me away from any source of help, support, love
Loneliness
Robs me of faith to trust in the goodness of God, for me
Manipulates my personal understanding of prayer and peace
Loneliness
Welcomes anxiety and depression to facilitate alienation
Delights in my whole body descending deeper into abyss
Loneliness
Creates a substantial barrier of darkness to shut out life's light
Blends long, sun-starved days into even longer starless nights
Loneliness
Grows seeds of unworthiness that sprout and take over like weeds
Circulates paralysing hopelessness around like continuous gust of wind
Loneliness
Covers my weak being with cumbersome blanket of self-judgement
Laps up my essence with its harsh tongue, leaving only empty bowl
Loneliness
Creates illusion I'm invisible with no one to reverse the magic trick
Changes shape of my puzzle piece so no longer fit in with all the normal
ones
Loneliness
Weakens my physical and mental energy to persevere no matter what
Bundles up heavy thoughts and hurls them at me in rapid succession
Loneliness
Hides in background when I'm out and about, engaged and sharing smiles
Moves to the forefront once alone; left sad, crying, searching for
understanding
Loneliness
Prevents me from thriving in my vulnerability and courage to really live
Collects fragments of fear and doubt, magnifying them to obsessive capacity
Loneliness
Questions the likelihood someone would love me enough to be my close friend
Convinces me I am meant to go it alone, away from nurturing hugs and kind
words
Loneliness
Swallows up my essence, my potential, my dreams... with its all-consuming
ways
Pushes my heart, mind and soul further away from recovery and revitalization
Loneliness
Only a word until infused with personal meaning
Only a feeling but perceived as fact
Only, only....is there hope?
Loneliness
Loneliness
Enters my impressionable mind as just a feeling
Explodes inward to become a defining feature
Loneliness
Spreads to my sensitive heart with a vengeance
Steals self-compassion with reckless abandon
Loneliness
Strangles my caring soul with penetrating grip
Tries desperately to mute the voice of self-love
Loneliness
Catapults me to an imaginary island of intimidating isolation
Whisks me away from any source of help, support, love
Loneliness
Robs me of faith to trust in the goodness of God, for me
Manipulates my personal understanding of prayer and peace
Loneliness
Welcomes anxiety and depression to facilitate alienation
Delights in my whole body descending deeper into abyss
Loneliness
Creates a substantial barrier of darkness to shut out life's light
Blends long, sun-starved days into even longer starless nights
Loneliness
Grows seeds of unworthiness that sprout and take over like weeds
Circulates paralysing hopelessness around like continuous gust of wind
Loneliness
Covers my weak being with cumbersome blanket of self-judgement
Laps up my essence with its harsh tongue, leaving only empty bowl
Loneliness
Creates illusion I'm invisible with no one to reverse the magic trick
Changes shape of my puzzle piece so no longer fit in with all the normal
ones
Loneliness
Weakens my physical and mental energy to persevere no matter what
Bundles up heavy thoughts and hurls them at me in rapid succession
Loneliness
Hides in background when I'm out and about, engaged and sharing smiles
Moves to the forefront once alone; left sad, crying, searching for
understanding
Loneliness
Prevents me from thriving in my vulnerability and courage to really live
Collects fragments of fear and doubt, magnifying them to obsessive capacity
Loneliness
Questions the likelihood someone would love me enough to be my close friend
Convinces me I am meant to go it alone, away from nurturing hugs and kind
words
Loneliness
Swallows up my essence, my potential, my dreams... with its all-consuming
ways
Pushes my heart, mind and soul further away from recovery and revitalization
Loneliness
Only a word until infused with personal meaning
Only a feeling but perceived as fact
Only, only....is there hope?
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