In her fourth poem, "It Must Be Hard For You", Brenda McDonald speaks to the value and significance of others, whether it be a physician, therapist, loved one or friend, lending a listening ear and recognizing and validating their experiences and emotions.
It Must Be Hard For You
"It must be hard for you..."
Putting recognition and words to the struggle
Not feeling sorry for me
I don't feel sorry for me
Just letting me know you realize
It's difficult to live with mental illness
It's a step towards understanding
Try this therapy or maybe that one?
What about this medication or that?
I appreciate the years of research
Developing ways to help treat
But first, thank you for recognizing
"It must be hard for you..."
Remembering and focusing on positive times
Not easy to do right now
Life is so very challenging
Negatives have more volume and control
Certainly want to tip the teeter totter down
Down towards improved mental health
Takes lots of energy to push away negative weight
Negative weight of demoralizing self-chatter
Get it off its comfortable seat, push, pierce, pounce
So the teeter totter can tip down towards encouraging positives
I know, only I know what it's like to be me but
"It must be hard for you..."
It's like a pause before the attack
Attack to fight the demons so that I can live
Live life as I’m meant to
Without the steel chains of anxiety and depression
Holding me face down to the ground
Who really cares, I don't matter anyway
Knowing I am loved, supported and valued
By others but also myself
Can loosen the chains, make life more rewarding
Many things in life are hard, some obvious
Mental illness is often hidden and overwhelming
"It must be hard for you..."
Imagine what it would be like to live with a wild mind
Mind taking you to places you don't want to go
Telling you untruths, put downs, nonsense
Making you behave in ways you don’t want to
Rituals again, worry more, fatigue always
Leaving you with feelings you don't want to have
Resentment, irritability, frustration, confusion
Please feel free to express your emotions around me
Tears of compassion, it's ok to cry
Smiles of connection, we all need that
Respectful humour can reroute misty eyes into laughter
Oh, how I need to laugh more
"It must be hard for you..."
Not looking to be fixed or cured
I am looking for healing, guidance, direction
Tired of the guilt, shame, blame cast on myself
By myself, over and over daily, let me breathe
Everyone has a story to tell, listen one and all
Hope is in every soul, let it out to permeate
Permeate through one's heart and mind
Feeling hopeless takes away, never gives
But it is real for many
"It must be hard for you..."
Thank you
Putting words and recognition to the struggle
Means a lot to me
It Must Be Hard For You
"It must be hard for you..."
Putting recognition and words to the struggle
Not feeling sorry for me
I don't feel sorry for me
Just letting me know you realize
It's difficult to live with mental illness
It's a step towards understanding
Try this therapy or maybe that one?
What about this medication or that?
I appreciate the years of research
Developing ways to help treat
But first, thank you for recognizing
"It must be hard for you..."
Remembering and focusing on positive times
Not easy to do right now
Life is so very challenging
Negatives have more volume and control
Certainly want to tip the teeter totter down
Down towards improved mental health
Takes lots of energy to push away negative weight
Negative weight of demoralizing self-chatter
Get it off its comfortable seat, push, pierce, pounce
So the teeter totter can tip down towards encouraging positives
I know, only I know what it's like to be me but
"It must be hard for you..."
It's like a pause before the attack
Attack to fight the demons so that I can live
Live life as I’m meant to
Without the steel chains of anxiety and depression
Holding me face down to the ground
Who really cares, I don't matter anyway
Knowing I am loved, supported and valued
By others but also myself
Can loosen the chains, make life more rewarding
Many things in life are hard, some obvious
Mental illness is often hidden and overwhelming
"It must be hard for you..."
Imagine what it would be like to live with a wild mind
Mind taking you to places you don't want to go
Telling you untruths, put downs, nonsense
Making you behave in ways you don’t want to
Rituals again, worry more, fatigue always
Leaving you with feelings you don't want to have
Resentment, irritability, frustration, confusion
Please feel free to express your emotions around me
Tears of compassion, it's ok to cry
Smiles of connection, we all need that
Respectful humour can reroute misty eyes into laughter
Oh, how I need to laugh more
"It must be hard for you..."
Not looking to be fixed or cured
I am looking for healing, guidance, direction
Tired of the guilt, shame, blame cast on myself
By myself, over and over daily, let me breathe
Everyone has a story to tell, listen one and all
Hope is in every soul, let it out to permeate
Permeate through one's heart and mind
Feeling hopeless takes away, never gives
But it is real for many
"It must be hard for you..."
Thank you
Putting words and recognition to the struggle
Means a lot to me
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