In her fifth poem, poet Brenda McDonald beautifully illustrates and describes the experience of #depression, and the associated feelings of falling, loneliness and hopelessness, as well as lightly touching on the stigma surrounding #mentalhealth.
Free Falling
Life is full of highs and lows, happy and sad, give and take, you and me
But what if life takes my breath away and doesn't give it back...?
The mental health struggles become like mountains that continue to rise
For some, suicide may feel like the one and only way to deal with the pain
But what if I feel like I am free falling with absolutely no end in sight?
Farther and farther away from help, support, love and hope
Like a bird swooping precariously downward, having lost its wings to
redirect
Imagine going down a roller coaster without screams of excitement
Or bungee jumping off a tall bridge without a surge of exhilaration
Only feelings of despair prevail, lost to yourself and the world around you
Plunge without knowing if there will be anyone or anything to save you
Wanting to live, but not sure how to stop the advancing train of
hopelessness
Heading right for you, whistle blowing, scaring the crap out of mind and
body
Pretending to be fine, smiling and laughing, when I'm crying huge tears
inside
Thought-sucking Gremlins surround, attack and win without any moral
hesitation
The only person that really knows my truths, sees me once/week for an hour
Still I have untold secrets churning around inside, pleading to be let out
and shared
Not easy to open up about depression and anxiety, too much stigma to risk
much
Strong but weak, healthy but ill, outgoing but lonely, energetic but
lethargic
Who will hold my hand to comfort me, stay by my side, when blinding darkness
pervades?
Wearing a concealed suit of emotional armour, how do I allow love's power to
tear it off me?
Oh how I long to feel genuinely loved, believe that I'm loveable, it's vital
to my survival
Perched on an illusory cloud in the vast sky above, I look down with
trepidation and wonder
What is it like to live with purpose, direction, self-worth and a sense of
belonging?
I see people embracing light, hugging each other, singing with joy, letting
go and living
Our world has room for everyone, so why do I feel like there is no room for
someone like me?
One personal journey but many pathways, some old and some new, uncertainty
rules
Who will guide me down an undiscovered trail when I become paralysed with
fear and worry?
Life is full of smooth and rough, dreams and reality, chocolate and Brussels
sprouts
But what if life takes my spirited vitality away and doesn't give it
back...?
The mental health struggles become like oceans that continue to widen
For some, suicide may feel like the one and only way to deal with the pain
But what if I feel like I am free falling with absolutely no end in sight?
Questions come easily to me but answers not so much
Sitting by the edge, I ponder....
Free Falling
Life is full of highs and lows, happy and sad, give and take, you and me
But what if life takes my breath away and doesn't give it back...?
The mental health struggles become like mountains that continue to rise
For some, suicide may feel like the one and only way to deal with the pain
But what if I feel like I am free falling with absolutely no end in sight?
Farther and farther away from help, support, love and hope
Like a bird swooping precariously downward, having lost its wings to
redirect
Imagine going down a roller coaster without screams of excitement
Or bungee jumping off a tall bridge without a surge of exhilaration
Only feelings of despair prevail, lost to yourself and the world around you
Plunge without knowing if there will be anyone or anything to save you
Wanting to live, but not sure how to stop the advancing train of
hopelessness
Heading right for you, whistle blowing, scaring the crap out of mind and
body
Pretending to be fine, smiling and laughing, when I'm crying huge tears
inside
Thought-sucking Gremlins surround, attack and win without any moral
hesitation
The only person that really knows my truths, sees me once/week for an hour
Still I have untold secrets churning around inside, pleading to be let out
and shared
Not easy to open up about depression and anxiety, too much stigma to risk
much
Strong but weak, healthy but ill, outgoing but lonely, energetic but
lethargic
Who will hold my hand to comfort me, stay by my side, when blinding darkness
pervades?
Wearing a concealed suit of emotional armour, how do I allow love's power to
tear it off me?
Oh how I long to feel genuinely loved, believe that I'm loveable, it's vital
to my survival
Perched on an illusory cloud in the vast sky above, I look down with
trepidation and wonder
What is it like to live with purpose, direction, self-worth and a sense of
belonging?
I see people embracing light, hugging each other, singing with joy, letting
go and living
Our world has room for everyone, so why do I feel like there is no room for
someone like me?
One personal journey but many pathways, some old and some new, uncertainty
rules
Who will guide me down an undiscovered trail when I become paralysed with
fear and worry?
Life is full of smooth and rough, dreams and reality, chocolate and Brussels
sprouts
But what if life takes my spirited vitality away and doesn't give it
back...?
The mental health struggles become like oceans that continue to widen
For some, suicide may feel like the one and only way to deal with the pain
But what if I feel like I am free falling with absolutely no end in sight?
Questions come easily to me but answers not so much
Sitting by the edge, I ponder....
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