In the powerful article, "My Lovely Wife In The Psych Ward", Mark Lukach shares his wife's struggles with depression and psychosis and discusses how mental illness can affect relationships ...
"But even during our best moments as husband and wife, father and mother, we can feel lingering traces of our roles as caretaker and patient. Psychiatric crises are episodic, but they cut deep into relationships and the lacerations take years to mend. When Giulia was sick, I acted for her in what I believed was her best interest, because I loved her and she wasn’t capable of making decisions for herself ...
And now, if I suggest that she to go to bed, she complains that I’m telling her what to do, micromanaging her life. Which makes sense, because I did tell her what to do and micromanaged her life for months at a time. Meanwhile, I’m quick to gripe that she’s not taking care of herself well enough. This dynamic isn’t unique to us—it exists in countless other families who lived through a psychiatric crisis. The onetime caregiver continues to worry. The former (and perhaps future) patient feels trapped by paternalistic patterns."
"But even during our best moments as husband and wife, father and mother, we can feel lingering traces of our roles as caretaker and patient. Psychiatric crises are episodic, but they cut deep into relationships and the lacerations take years to mend. When Giulia was sick, I acted for her in what I believed was her best interest, because I loved her and she wasn’t capable of making decisions for herself ...
And now, if I suggest that she to go to bed, she complains that I’m telling her what to do, micromanaging her life. Which makes sense, because I did tell her what to do and micromanaged her life for months at a time. Meanwhile, I’m quick to gripe that she’s not taking care of herself well enough. This dynamic isn’t unique to us—it exists in countless other families who lived through a psychiatric crisis. The onetime caregiver continues to worry. The former (and perhaps future) patient feels trapped by paternalistic patterns."
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