"For me, I just tried sleeping it off, but sleeping it off wasn't working. I had some sleeping pills that I was prescribed, but I hadn't taken them in a while. So I took a couple and I laid down and started hyperventilating; it almost feels like you're drunk to be honest. You're just in such a daydream.
I took a couple and nothing really happened so I took a couple more and I started to feel a little loopy and detached from the world, which is what I wanted. Eventually, I just took them all. I was at that point where I was like, 'if I do die, I'm okay with it, but I'm not trying to kill myself' kind of thing. My parents came upstairs and found me in bed, laying in a pool of my own drool and then my dad carried me down the stairs to the car. Watching my parents made it so surreal, like there was a glass wall in between us, like I was in a display case just being looked at.
I remember one moment specifically when we were in the waiting room when the sleeping medication suddenly hit me really hard. I remember I was sitting in a chair in front of the secretary signing in because I couldn't stand, and I remember I was passing out with my head resting on the desk. I remember my heart just stopping or skipping a beat all of a sudden, and that's when it snapped in me, and I thought, 'this is terrifying, this is real.'
Now, whenever I'm really down now I just think of the moment when I was literally about to die."